Heart-Shaped Pillows for Breast Cancer Patients

At my first doctor appointment after I was diagnosed with breast cancer, the nurse navigator gave me a pair of heart-shaped pillows, courtesy of Bosom Buddies of Solano County. She explained that they're designed to tuck under your arm after surgery to relieve pressure on the area. They also make wearing a seatbelt tolerable. My heart pillows were indeed extremely useful after surgery, but I appreciated them even more during and after radiation when my skin was so raw and painful. 

Last week, my friend Ann and I had the chance to finish some partially completed heart pillows at a local quilting store. Someone else had cut, sewn, and stuffed the hearts; we hand-sewed the openings. I finished 9 pillows. It was very satisfying to be able to make these, knowing that they will help other women with breast cancer. Heart pillows are also helpful after cardiac surgery. 

Many hospitals and support groups like Thriving Pink give out heart pillows and are always looking for volunteers to make them. If you are interesting in making heart pillows to donate, contact your local hospital or support group to find out if they have specific requirements and where they can be dropped off. Once you're ready to start sewing, my friend Becky has a great tutorial. On behalf of the patients who will receive them during one of the most challenging points in their lives, thank you. It means so much. 

Thriving Pink Renewal Retreat

As a scrapbooker, I take a lot of photos. I am always thinking about how I'll scrapbook the special occasions or ordinary moments in our lives. When I attended the Thriving Pink Renewal Retreat, I made the decision ahead of time not to take a single photo during the entire weekend. Not only did I want to be fully present for every minute of the retreat, but I didn't want to risk having someone in my photos who didn't want to be in them. Not everyone wants the world to know they have cancer, or wants to be photographed during a vulnerable time. Fortunately, the organizers took pictures. I printed three of the group photos that were published publicly and used them to make this layout:  

 

Thriving Pink Renewal Retreat (affiliate link)

I kept the journaling pretty basic. I intentionally didn't label the attendees, since I knew I would be sharing the page online. Instead, I wrote everyone's names on the back of the layout so that it's properly documented. 

This was the second page I made during the first week of the BYSS World Series. Once again, I earned three points: one for the color inspiration, one for the letter stickers, and one for the use of glitter (the silver glitter stickers around the journaling). I'm particularly pleased with how well I used the color inspiration. Mostly pink (with stripes), some white, and small pops of green and teal - nailed it! The inspiration page is by Kim Munro. 

It feels great to be scrapbooking again! I didn't make a single layout for nearly 8 weeks - first while we were traveling and then while I was blogging about the trip. That's a really long time for me to go without scrapping, but I'll be making up for it through the rest of the BYSS World Series! 

Magazine Poetry

Six days after we got home from our epic New York trip and New England cruise, I attended a 2-day retreat for breast cancer survivors put on by Thriving Pink. It was a weekend of friendship, self-care, pampering, and healing. We did a lot of journaling, shared stories, and spent time reflecting on our own cancer journey. 

Of all the activities we did, my favorites were the crafts. The first was a magazine collage. We weren't given specific instructions about how to make our collages; most people collected images of things that represented them (or that they found particularly beautiful) and layered those onto their cardboard cake round (affiliate link). I went a slightly different direction. 

Rather than focus on my favorite things, my project is inspired specifically by my cancer journey. I found an image of poppies that spoke to me and used that as the background. Immediately before this activity, our group had talked about the role our loved ones have played in our recovery and how much our breast cancer has affected them, particularly the primary caregiver. In my case, that has been Steve. I am so grateful for his love and support through diagnosis, treatment, and beyond. He stands strong behind me, like the large poppy behind the slightly smaller one in the foreground. Other poppies surround them both, just as so many others have provided help and support to us both throughout my cancer journey. 

I collected words and phrases from the magazine that spoke to me about my path forward as a cancer patient. I arranged them and rearranged them until I had the short poem you see above. Finally, I added a border of torn magazine bits around the edge. The pieces aren't perfect, just like life isn't perfect. The best we can do is to create a life well crafted, savor memories, let it be, and believe.

Obviously, this project doesn't have to be about cancer. It could be about absolutely anything, from the serious to the frivolous. Each person's will be a unique reflection of who they are and how they feel at that moment. And this is not a project only for adults. Kids are capable of making beautiful and meaningful found poetry too.

Physical Therapy: Adhesive Capsulitis & Lymphedema After Breast Cancer Surgery

When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer, I naively thought that once active treatment was done, that was it. In my case, active treatment was surgery and radiation, but there can be much more to recovering from breast cancer than just the active treatment. Because my cancer is ER/PR positive, I am taking hormone blocking medication for ten years. There are a lot of unpleasant side effects that go with it. 

One side effect that had nothing to do with the medication was that my right arm (the surgery side) was incredibly painful after I finished radiation. My raw skin healed, but I couldn't lift my arm without screaming. Sleeping was very difficult. I kept my arm pressed by my side as much as possible because moving it hurt so much. At the same time, I noticed that my right breast was oddly swollen, pitted, and heavy. It felt uncomfortable at all times, much like the feeling of being engorged in the early days of breast feeding. Eventually, I received two diagnoses: adhesive capsulitis (frozen shoulder syndrome) and lymphedema. Both are linked to breast cancer treatment. 

I started physical therapy for both conditions last fall. After many months of going to appointments and doing daily exercises at home, my therapist felt I was ready to stop the in-person treatments in May and just continue the home therapies. I was thrilled. 

Physical Therapy (affiliate link)

It has been 14 months since my breast cancer surgery and almost a year since I finished radiation. My shoulder is significantly better. I don't have quite the range of motion that I used to, but it is no longer painful and I can do all daily activities without help or modifications. The lymphedema is not better; my PT warned me at diagnosis that it could be a lifelong condition. That's frustrating, but now I know how to treat it and get temporary relief when it is bothering me. 

Thriving Pink

I haven't talked about my breast cancer journey on the blog in quite awhile. Radiation ended in August, which was a big milestone to celebrate, but I wasn't prepared emotionally for the struggles I would have in the following months. I was diagnosed with Frozen Shoulder Syndrome and lymphedema, both fairly common after breast surgery. I started on tamoxifen to block any hormone-positive cancer cells from accessing estrogen; that came with a litany of unpleasant side effects. My quality of life was significantly worse and I had a lot of anger. I struggled with depression for the first time in my life. Despite being surrounded by my wonderful friends and family, I felt profoundly lonely. 

My physical therapist (who treats both my shoulder and my lymphedema) recommended that I connect with an organization called Thriving Pink. It's a non-profit that supports women during and after breast cancer. I was desperate for anything that would help. I first attended one of their monthly walks in January and it was life-changing. I cannot express how much I needed to spend time with other women who knew exactly what I was going through, who knew the terminology without needing explanations, and who were able to support me in a way that only a fellow survivor can. 

I've attended all of the workshops and walks Thriving Pink has hosted since my first visit in January. It has helped enormously. I've made some wonderful friends and emotionally, I feel like myself again. I am so incredibly grateful for Thriving Pink. 

Thriving Pink (affiliate link)

I made this layout during a Fast Scrap challenge for National Scrapbook Day. We had two hours to use half a sheet of cardstock, half a sheet of patterned paper, and half of something else. I chose to do half a foot (6 inches) of handwritten journaling. 

Everything about this page makes me happy. I'm so glad to have it in the album. 

Future Survivor - Documenting Breast Cancer Surgery

I had surgery for breast cancer on June 10, 2024. This is the layout I made to document it.  

 

Future Survivor (affiliate link)

I wanted a stark look - it would feel weird to me to use pretty, colorful papers and lots of photos and embellishments for a page about cancer surgery. I paired a photo Steve took after I woke up after surgery with the graphics I made when I announced my breast cancer here on the blog. That's all I was going to include, but at the last minute I added the journaling on the left that includes my diagnosis and surgery date. I opted against including more information; everything about the surgery is documented on the blog for anyone who wants to read it. 

Scrapbook Layout: Done with Radiation

I've already documented my experience with radiation for breast cancer, including a scrapbook layout, treatment information, and the final bill. However, I left out one important thing: the ceremonial burning of my hospital bracelet after my final session of radiation therapy. My skin was raw, swollen, and very painful and I was extremely fatigued, but you'd never know it from the huge smile on my face as I watched the bracelet disappear into ash. There aren't a lot of happy moments during a breast cancer journey, so I'm glad to have captured this one. 

 

Done with Radiation (affiliate link)

I hesitated in using the title "done!" for this layout because it has become a trigger word for me. It is extremely upsetting when people ask me if I'm done with breast cancer, because I am not and never will be. I'm dealing with adhesive capulitis (frozen shoulder syndrome) and lymphedema, both caused by the breast surgery. I'm on month four of ten years of endocrine therapy (and all its unpleasant side effects). After ten years, the best I can hope for is not "done" or "cancer free" or "in remission" but rather NED (No Evidence of Disease). I am forever changed by breast cancer - physically, mentally, and emotionally. 

Radiation: The Scrapbook Layout, Treatment Info, and Final Bill

I had external beam radiation therapy for breast cancer between August 5-23, 2024. Each day, I drove to the Cancer Center in the next city over, put on my hospital bracelet, let myself into the locker room, changed into a gown, and then waited to be called for treatment. Sometimes fellow patients were in the locker room and we would talk; I loved getting to meet other women going through the same thing. About a third of the time I was alone in the locker room. On those days, I would read the messages previous patients had posted on the bulletin board, or flip through the cards a group of local high school students had made, all of which offered encouragement to those of us going through treatment. Treatments took 10 minutes, then it was back to the locker room, where I put on my street clothes and tucked my hospital bracelet in my purse. Then I went home, where I hydrated, moisturized, and rested before resuming my day. 

While the radiation treatments themselves weren't bad, they left me fatigued and with swollen, red, and raw skin in the treated area. I had to start using the seatbelt pillows that I'd thought I wouldn't need again after I recovered from surgery. I went through two tubes of calendula cream. (That's an affiliate link because you should get some if you don't already have it on hand. In addition to treating radiation burns, it is great for treating cuts, scrapes, and sunburns.) But the money I spent on calendula cream was offset by the money I didn't spend on deodorant, as I wasn't allowed to use it throughout treatment. (In August, in California.)

This is the scrapbook page I made to document my experience with radiation. 

Radiation (affiliate link)

As you can see, I used photos of my seatbelt pillows, calendula cream, and no deodorant as embellishments for my page. I handwrite my journaling 99.5% of the time, but for this layout I typed it in order to squeeze in as much of the story as possible. I earned three points for the Scrappin' Banshees: one point each for 3+ photos, a title, and washi tape. I originally had metallic paper on the page to earn the 4th point, but I didn't like the shine for this topic. 

I recently received a summary of my radiation treatment. I started with a CT scan and initial consultation with my radiation oncologist. She prescribed: Rt. Breast Volume 4005 267, 3D Conformal photon 15x, photon 6x, once daily. So my daily dose of radiation was 267 cGy and my total was 4005 cGy. I saw the oncologist three times during treatment. Care to guess the total cost for this treatment?

My out-of-pocket cost was zero. No copays, no deductable, nothing at all for the entire radiation treatment. My insurance paid the negotiated rate of $11,037. Without insurance, it would have been $66,142.08. Crazy. My heart breaks for patients who end up with massive medical debt. Cancer is hard enough to deal with physically and emotionally without financial disaster on top of it. 

My Breast Cancer Journey

It has been less than four months since I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It's hard to believe, as it feels like breast cancer has been part of my life for much, much longer. Fortunately, I am at the end of active treatment (surgery and radiation) and now consider myself a breast cancer survivor. 

To be clear, I do not consider myself cancer-free, in remission, or in any way "done" with cancer. I have ten years of endocrine therapy and oncology appointments still ahead of me. I may have late side effects or even a recurrence. But I have survived so far. And I'm doing well. 

Throughout my breast cancer journey, I've been keeping friends and family informed through CaringBridge. I've now copied all of my posts over here to my blog, where anyone can access them without having to create an account. I hope that sharing the details of my journey will help future patients, or their loved ones, to learn more about breast cancer and see one possible outcome. 

https://www.cindyderosier.com/p/my-breast-cancer-journey.html

Future Cancer Survivor

This post is hard to write, and I'm sorry to the people who are finding out by reading this, but it was the easiest way for me to tell everyone about a challenge I am facing: I have breast cancer. 

I had no symptoms; the tumor was discovered by a routine mammogram. I had a follow-up mammogram, then ultrasound, and a biopsy before being diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (IDC). I am very lucky, as we found it early. The tumor is small and, from what we know so far, it looks like it has not spread to the lymph nodes. I have a battle ahead of me, but I am fighting it with everything I have. 

I will need a lot of support as I fight. I have set up a CaringBridge site where Steve and I will post updates. We’ll also use it to organize any help I may need with meals, rides, or other things. It’s hard to know now what that might be. Right now what I need are: supportive texts, emails, and/or blog comments; prayers; and for anyone reading this who is not up to date with their mammogram to schedule it immediately. What I do not want or need: unexpected phone calls or visits. Please, always text first. 

So what’s going to happen with my blog? I’m not sure. I have a handful of posts already scheduled, which will run as usual for the next week or so. Beyond that, I’m not sure. I want to keep blogging, but I may find that it’s too difficult to keep up with my current 5 posts per week schedule. I may post less frequently, or I may take an extended break. Either way, I'll keep you informed. You can continue to support me financially by using my affiliate links for any online purchases you make, since I obviously won't be taking on any freelance assignments in the near future. 

Thank you in advance for your support as I start my journey as a cancer patient. It means the world to me.